Chapter 20
Rosies in the den sitting in her rocking chair
Reading the bible and its so peaceful
Until (door opens) He got the package Rosie! He got the package
Secret sweet bridges he done got the package!
Lawd have mercy Randolph whats done got into you?
And who got the package and what is the package?
The package Rosie... the big package
Ah hell I aint got time to be playin withchu (what you mean?) playin games and carrying on like if I want to play some games
(I wanna talk to ya when I tell ya) Im a go ahead and turn on the TV and watch me some Wheel of Fortune
How the hell Im a tell ya if you walking away from me... hmm... hm hm... well hell with it then I aint goin tell ya nothin
You must want to know... about the paaasssssstor
(Gasp) what about the pastor?
Wha... wha-wha-wha-wha-wha wha what? Did you hear that? Did somebody round here say sumthin? I thought I heard a-
Just quit playin and tell me whats going on with the pastor?
Well now you wanna know... Ill tell ya its way better than peeking out them damn windows you be peeking out of (sucks teeth)
Aint no pigeon goin shit on you listen to me RANDOLPH!
Okay okay... lemme calm down... ooohh saahhh
Ill slap you with this hot water bag if you dont start talking to me!
Alright alright alright... Im a talk to ya and Im a tell it all
I was at church in the pastor office cleaning up and next thing you know I was...
[Randolph sings:] Hmm yes Lord... yes Lord yea- (stops and drinks liquor) oooh yeah loooorrrrr what...
[Someone shouts:] I cant talk to you about that right now sister Marie I got a phone call
Shit think shit think shit shit think Randolph...
Hmm and thats when I got my ole ass in that closet
[Rosie:] Now quit cussin Now just shutcha ass up and just listen Rosie
You say you wanna know... then I got in that closet and it all started to happen
The pastor came in he was on the phone talking to a man
Whats wrong with being on the phone talking to a man?
Well it all depends on whatchu saying... to that man
Now to make a long story short he said Rufus I miss you
And I couldnt believe my ears when he said Chuck I miss you too
And then his wife comes in starts pinching the bitch
I know meh dont like being in folk bidness but Randolph this is some juicy shit what else
Anyway they arguing back and forth pastor Rufus start tryna convince this man to let him come see him
But obviously he said no What else?
Nah calm down dammit wait a minute lemme think... oh oh he asked the pastor to stay in his life
But then the pastor said no God must be working on em then what?
Pastor say Chuck lets meet and our spot the Holidae Inn
And then? Thats when When what? AHH took another shot of that gin
Ooooh Randolph this is getting good but what make ya say got the package?
When Chuck let em know know what that hes in the hospital-ooooooh (burps)
He got the package! Didnt I tell ya? He got the package Randolph you was right
Next time you listen to me when Im tryna tell ya ass sumthin
Oh my god wheres my phone book?
What you need the phone book fo? (Lord have mercy) Now dont go tellin everybody around town Rosie (ahh he got the package)
With yo big mouth ass (door closes) shoot!
(Randolph drinks liquor and goes to sleep)