the 1

Im doing good Im on some new shit
Been saying yes instead of no
I thought I saw you at the bus stop I didnt though
I hit the ground running each night
I hit the Sunday matinée
You know the greatest films of all time were never made

I guess you never know never know
And if you wanted me you really shouldve showed
And if you never bleed youre never gonna grow
And its alright now

But we were something dont you think so?
Roaring twenties tossing pennies in the pool
And if my wishes came true
It wouldve been you
In my defense I have none
For never leaving well enough alone
But it wouldve been fun
If you wouldve been the one
(Ooh)

I have this dream youre doing cool shit
Having adventures on your own
You meet some woman on the internet and take her home
We never painted by the numbers baby
But we were making it count
You know the greatest loves of all time are over now

I guess you never know never know
And its another day waking up alone

But we were something dont you think so?
Roaring twenties tossing pennies in the pool
And if my wishes came true
It wouldve been you
In my defense I have none
For never leaving well enough alone
But it wouldve been fun
If you wouldve been the one

I I I persist and resist the temptation to ask you
If one thing had been different
Would everything be different today?

We were something dont you think so?
Rosé flowing with your chosen family
And it wouldve been sweet
If it couldve been me
In my defense I have none
For digging up the grave another time
But it wouldve been fun
If you wouldve been the one
(Ooh)






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Cardigan

Vintage tee brand new phone
High heels on cobblestones
When you are young they assume you know nothing
Sequined smile black lipstick
Sensual politics
When you are young they assume you know nothing

But I knew you
Dancin in your Levis
Drunk under a streetlight I
I knew you
Hand under my sweatshirt
Baby kiss it better I

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan
Under someones bed
You put me on and said I was your favorite

A friend to all is a friend to none
Chase two girls lose the one
When you are young they assume you know nothing

But I knew you
Playing hide-and-seek and
Giving me your weekends I
I knew you
Your heartbeat on the High Line
Once in twenty lifetimes I

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan
Under someones bed
You put me on and said I was your favorite

To kiss in cars and downtown bars
Was all we needed
You drew stars around my scars
But now Im bleedin

Cause I knew you
Steppin on the last train
Marked me like a bloodstain I
I knew you
Tried to change the ending
Peter losing Wendy I
I knew you
Leavin like a father
Running like water I
And when you are young they assume you know nothing

But I knew youd linger like a tattoo kiss
I knew youd haunt all of my what-ifs
The smell of smoke would hang around this long
Cause I knew everything when I was young
I knew Id curse you for the longest time
Chasin shadows in the grocery line
I knew youd miss me once the thrill expired
And youd be standin in my front porch light
And I knew youd come back to me
Youd come back to me
And youd come back to me
And youd come back

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan
Under someones bed
You put me on and said I was your favorite






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the last great american dynasty

Rebekah rode up on the afternoon train it was sunny
Her saltbox house on the coast took her mind off St. Louis
Bill was the heir to the Standard Oil name and money
And the town said How did a middle-class divorcée do it?
The wedding was charming if a little gauche
Theres only so far new money goes
They picked out a home and called it Holiday House
Their parties were tasteful if a little loud
The doctor had told him to settle down
It must have been her fault his heart gave out

And they said
There goes the last great American dynasty
Who knows if she never showed up what couldve been
There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen
She had a marvelous time ruining everything

Rebekah gave up on the Rhode Island set forever
Flew in all her Bitch Pack friends from the city
Filled the pool with champagne and swam with the big names
And blew through the money on the boys and the ballet
And losing on card game bets with Dal?

And they said
There goes the last great American dynasty
Who knows if she never showed up what couldve been
There goes the most shameless woman this town has ever seen
She had a marvelous time ruining everything

They say she was seen on occasion
Pacing the rocks staring out at the midnight sea
And in a feud with her neighbor
She stole his dog and dyed it key lime green
Fifty years is a long time
Holiday House sat quietly on that beach
Free of women with madness their men and bad habits
And then it was bought by me

Who knows if I never showed up what couldve been
There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen
I had a marvelous time ruining everything

I had a marvelous time ruining everything
A marvelous time ruining everything
A marvelous time
I had a marvelous time






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exile

(feat. Bon Iver)

I can see you standin honey
With his arms around your body
Laughin but the jokes not funny at all
And it took you five whole minutes
To pack us up and leave me with it
Holdin all this love out here in the hall

I think Ive seen this film before
And I didnt like the ending
Youre not my homeland anymore
So what am I defendin now?
You were my town
Now Im in exile seein you out
I think Ive seen this film before

Hoo hoo-ooh
Hoo hoo-ooh
Hoo hoo-ooh

I can see you starin honey
Like hes just your understudy
Like youd get your knuckles bloody for me
Second third and hundredth chances
Balancin on breaking branches
Those eyes add insult to injury

I think Ive seen this film before
And I didnt like the ending
Im not your problem anymore
So who am I offending now?
You were my crown
Now Im in exile seein you out
I think Ive seen this film before
So Im leavin out the side door

So step right out
There is no amount
Of cryin I can do for you

All this time
We always walked a very thin line
You didnt even hear me out (You didnt even hear me out)
You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

All this time
I never learned to read your mind (Never learned to read my mind)
I couldnt turn things around (You never turned things around)
Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)
So many signs
So many signs (You didnt even see the signs)

I think Ive seen this film before
And I didnt like the ending
Youre not my homeland anymore
So what am I defending now?
You were my town
Now Im in exile seein you out
I think Ive seen this film before
So Im leaving out the side door

So step right out
There is no amount
Of cryin I can do for you

All this time
We always walked a very thin line
You didnt even hear me out (You didnt even hear me out)
You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

All this time
I never learned to read your mind (Never learned to read my mind)
I couldnt turn things around (You never turned things around)
Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

All this time (So many times)
I never learned to read your mind (So many signs)
I couldnt turn things around
Cause you never gave a warning sign (Never gave a warning sign)






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my tears ricochet

We gather here
We line up weeping in a sunlit room
And if Im on fire
Youll be made of ashes too

Even on my worst day
Did I deserve babe
All the hell you gave me?
Cause I loved you
I swear I loved you
Till my dying day

I didnt have it in myself to go with grace
And youre the hero flying around saving face
And if Im dead to you why are you at the wake?
Cursing my name
Wishing I stayed
Look at how my tears ricochet

We gather stones
Never knowing what theyll mean
Some to throw
Some to make a diamond ring
You know I didnt want to
Have to haunt you
But what a ghostly scene
You wear the same jewels
That I gave you
As you bury me

I didnt have it in myself to go with grace
Cause when Id fight you used to tell me I was brave
And if Im dead to you why are you at the wake?
Cursing my name
Wishing Id stayed
Look at how my tears ricochet

And I can go anywhere I want
Anywhere I want
Just not home
And you can aim for my heart go for blood
But you would still miss me in your bones
And I still talk to you
When Im screaming at the sky
And when you cant sleep at night
You hear my stolen lullabies

I didnt have it in myself to go with grace
And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves
You had to kill me but it killed you just the same
Cursing my name
Wishing I stayed
You turned into your worst fears
And youre tossing out blame
Drunk on this pain
Crossing out the good years
And youre cursing my name
Wishing I stayed
Look at how my tears ricochet






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mirrorball

I want you to know
Im a mirrorball
Ill show you every version of yourself tonight
Ill get you out on the floor
Shimmering beautiful
And when I break its in a million pieces

Hush
When no one is around my dear
Youll find me on my tallest tiptoes
Spinning in my highest heels love
Shining just for you
Hush
I know they said the end is near
But Im still on my tallest tiptoes
Spinning in my highest heels love
Shining just for you

I want you to know
Im a mirrorball
I can change everything about me to fit in
You are not like the regulars
The masquerade revelers
Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten

Hush
When no one is around my dear
Youll find me on my tallest tiptoes
Spinning in my highest heels love
Shining just for you
Hush
I know they said the end is near
But Im still on my tallest tiptoes
Spinning in my highest heels love
Shining just for you

And they called off the circus
Burned the disco down
When they sent home the horses
And the rodeo clowns
Im still on that tightrope
Im still trying everything to get you laughing at me
Im still a believer but I dont know why
Ive never been a natural
All I do is try try try
Im still on that trapeze
Im still trying everything
To keep you looking at me

Because Im a mirrorball
Im a mirrorball
Ill show you every version of yourself
Tonight






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seven

Please picture me
In the trees
I hit my peak at seven
Feet
In the swing
Over the creek
I was too scared to jump in but I I was high
In the sky
With Pennsylvania under me
Are there still beautiful things?

Sweet tea in the summer
Cross your heart wont tell no other
And though I cant recall your face
I still got love for you
Your braids like a pattern
Love you to the moon and to Saturn
Passed down like folk songs
The love lasts so long

And Ive been meaning to tell you
I think your house is haunted
Your dad is always mad and that must be why
And I think you should come live with
Me and we can be pirates
Then you wont have to cry
Or hide in the closet
And just like a folk song
Our love will be passed on

Please picture me
In the weeds
Before I learned civility
I used to scream
Ferociously
Any time I wanted

Sweet tea in the summer
Cross my heart wont tell no other
And though I cant recall your face
I still got love for you
Pack your dolls and a sweater
Well move to India forever
Passed down like folk songs
Our love lasts so long






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august

Salt air
And the rust on your door
I never needed anything more
Whispers
Of Are you sure?
Never have I ever before

But I can see us
Lost in the memory
August slipped away into a moment in time
Cause it was never mine
And I can see us twisted in bedsheets
August sipped away
Like a bottle of wine
Cause you were never mine

Your back
Beneath the sun
Wishing I could write my name on it
Will you call when youre back at school?
I remember thinking I had you

But I can see us
Lost in the memory
August slipped away into a moment in time
Cause it was never mine
And I can see us twisted in bedsheets
August sipped away
Like a bottle of wine
Cause you were never mine

Back when we were still changing for the better
Wanting was enough
For me it was enough
To live for the hope of it all
Cancel plans just in case youd call
And say Meet me behind the mall
So much for summer love and saying Us
Cause you werent mine to lose
You werent mine to lose
No

But I can see us
Lost in the memory
August slipped away into a moment in time
Cause it was never mine
And I can see us twisted in bedsheets
August sipped away
Like a bottle of wine
Cause you were never mine mine

Cause you were never mine
Never mine
Do you remember?
Remember when I pulled up
And said Get in the car
And then canceled my plans
Just in case youd call
Back when I was living for the hope of it all
For the hope of it all
Meet me behind the mall

(Remember when I pulled up)
(And said Get in the car)
(And then canceled my plans)
(Just in case youd call)
(Back when I was living for the hope of it all)
(For the hope of it all)
(Meet me behind the mall)

Remember when I pulled up
And said Get in the car
And then canceled my plans
Just in case youd call
Back when I was living for the hope of it all
(For the hope of it all)
For the hope of it all
For the hope of it all
For the hope of it all
For the hope of it all






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this is me trying

Ive been having a hard time adjusting
I had the shiniest wheels now theyre rusting
I didnt know if youd care if I came back
I have a lot of regrets about that
Pulled the car off the road to the lookout
Couldve followed my fears all the way down
And maybe I dont quite know what to say
But Im here in your doorway

I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying
I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying

They told me all of my cages were mental
So I got wasted like all my potential
And my words shoot to kill when Im mad
I have a lot of regrets about that
I was so ahead of the curve the curve became a sphere
Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here
Pourin out my heart to a stranger
But I didnt pour the whiskey

I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying
I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying

At least Im trying

And its hard to be at a party
When I feel like an open wound
Its hard to be anywhere these days
When all I want is you
Youre a flashback in a film reel
On the one screen in my town

And I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying (Maybe I dont quite know what to say)
I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying

At least Im trying






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illicit affairs

Make sure nobody sees you leave
Hood over your head
Keep your eyes down
Tell your friends youre out for a run
Youll be flushed when you return
Take the road less traveled by
Tell yourself you can always stop
What started in beautiful rooms
Ends with meetings in parking lots

And thats the thing about illicit affairs
And clandestine meetings
And longing stares
Its born from just one single glance
But it dies and it dies and it dies
...a million little times

Leave the perfume on the shelf
That you picked out just for him
So you leave no trace behind
Like you dont even exist
Take the words for what they are
A dwindling mercurial high
A drug that only worked
The first few hundred times

And thats the thing about illicit affairs
And clandestine meetings
And stolen stares
They show their truth one single time
But they lie and they lie and they lie
...a million little times

And you wanna scream
Dont call me kid
Dont call me baby
Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me
You showed me colors you know I cant see with anyone else
Dont call me kid
Dont call me baby
Look at this idiotic fool that you made me
You taught me a secret language I cant speak with anyone else
And you know damn well
For you I would ruin myself
...a million little times






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invisible string

Green was the color of the grass where I used to read at Centennial Park
I used to think I would meet somebody there
Teal was the color of your shirt when you were 16 at the yogurt shop
You used to work at to make a little money

Time
Curious time
Gave me no compasses
Gave me no signs
Were there clues I didnt see?
And isnt it just so pretty to think
All along there was some
Invisible string
Tying you to me?

Bad was the blood of the song in the cab on your first trip to LA
You ate at my favorite spot for dinner
Bold was the waitress on our three-year trip getting lunch down by the Lakes
She said I looked like an American singer

Time
Mystical time
Cutting me open then healing me fine
Were there clues I didnt see?
And isnt it just so pretty to think
All along there was some
Invisible string
Tying you to me?

A string that pulled me
Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar
Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire
Chains around my demons
Wool to brave the seasons
One single thread of gold tied me to you

Cold was the steel of my axe to grind for the boys who broke my heart
Now I send their babies presents
Gold was the color of the leaves when I showed you around Centennial Park
Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

Time
Wondrous time
Gave me the blues and then purple pink skies
And its cool
Baby with me
And isnt it just so pretty to think
All along there was some
Invisible string
Tying you to me?






Top?  
mad woman

What did you think Id say to that?
Does a scorpion sting when fighting back?
They strike to kill and you know I will
You know I will

What do you sing on your drive home?
Do you see my face in the neighbors lawn?
Does she smile?
Or does she mouth f*ck you forever?

Every time you call me crazy
I get more crazy
What about that?
And when you say I seem angry I get more angry
And theres nothing like a mad woman
What a shame she went mad
No one likes a mad woman
You made her like that
And youll poke that bear till her claws come out
And you find something to wrap your noose around
And theres nothing like a mad woman

Now I breathe flames each time I talk
My cannons all firing at your yacht
They say move on
But you know I wont
And women like hunting witches too
Doing your dirtiest work for you
Its obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together

Every time you call me crazy
I get more crazy
What about that?
And when you say I seem angry I get more angry
And theres nothing like a mad woman
What a shame she went mad
No one likes a mad woman
You made her like that
And youll poke that bear till her claws come out
And you find something to wrap your noose around
And theres nothing like a mad woman

Im taking my time
Taking my time
Cause you took everything from me
Watching you climb
Watching you climb
Over people like me
The master of spin
Has a couple side flings
Good wives always know
She should be mad
Should be scathing like me
But no one likes a mad woman
What a shame she went mad

You made her like that






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epiphany

Keep your helmet
Keep your life son
Just a flesh wound
Heres your rifle

Crawling up the beaches now
Sir I think hes bleedin out
And some things you just cant speak about

With you I serve
With you I fall down
Down
Watch you breathin
Watch you breathin out
Out

Something med school
Did not cover
Someones daughter
Someones mother

Holds your hand through plastic now
Doc I think shes crashin out
And some things you just cant speak about

Only twenty minutes to sleep
But you dream of some epiphany
Just one single glimpse of relief
To make some sense of what youve seen

With you I serve
With you I fall down
Down (Down)
Watch you breathin
Watch you breathin out
Out

With you I serve
With you I fall down (Down)
Down (Down)
Watch you breathin
Watch you breathin out (Out)
Out

Only twenty minutes to sleep
But you dream of some epiphany
Just one single glimpse of relief
To make some sense of what youve seen






Top?  
Betty

Betty I wont make assumptions
About why you switched your homeroom but
I think its cause of me
Betty one time I was riding on my skateboard
When I passed your house
Its like I couldnt breathe

You heard the rumors from Inez
You cant believe a word she says
Most times but this time it was true
The worst thing that I ever did
Was what I did to you

But if I just showed up at your party
Would you have me? Would you want me?
Would you tell me to go f*ck myself
Or lead me to the garden?
In the garden would you trust me
If I told you it was just a summer thing?
Im only seventeen I dont know anything
But I know I miss you

Betty I know where it all went wrong
Your favorite song was playing
From the far side of the gym
I was nowhere to be found
I hate the crowds you know that
Plus I saw you dance with him

You heard the rumors from Inez
You cant believe a word she says
Most times but this time it was true
The worst thing that I ever did
Was what I did to you

But if I just showed up at your party
Would you have me? Would you want me?
Would you tell me to go f*ck myself
Or lead me to the garden?
In the garden would you trust me
If I told you it was just a summer thing?
Im only seventeen I dont know anything
But I know I miss you

I was walking home on broken cobblestones
Just thinking of you when she pulled up like
A figment of my worst intentions
She said James get in lets drive
Those days turned into nights
Slept next to her but
I dreamt of you all summer long

Betty Im here on your doorstep
And I planned it out for weeks now
But its finally sinkin in
Betty right now is the last time
I can dream about what happens when
You see my face again

The only thing I wanna do
Is make it up to you
So I showed up at your party
Yeah I showed up at your party

Yeah I showed up at your party
Will you have me? Will you love me?
Will you kiss me on the porch
In front of all your stupid friends?
If you kiss me will it be just like I dreamed it?
Will it patch your broken wings?
Im only seventeen I dont know anything
But I know I miss you

Standing in your cardigan
Kissin in my car again
Stopped at a streetlight
You know I miss you






Top?  
peace

Our coming of age has come and gone
Suddenly this summer its clear
I never had the courage of my convictions
As long as danger is near
And its just around the corner darlin
Cause it lives in me
No I could never give you peace

But Im a fire and Ill keep your brittle heart warm
If your cascade ocean wave blues come
All these people think loves for show
But I would die for you in secret
The devils in the details
But you got a friend in me
Would it be enough
If I could never give you peace?

Your integrity makes me seem small
You paint dreamscapes on the wall
I talk shit with my friends
Its like Im wastin your honor

And you know that Id
Swing with you for the fences
Sit with you in the trenches
Give you my wild give you a child
Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other
Family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother
Is it enough?
But theres robbers to the east
Clowns to the West
Id give you my sunshine
Give you my best
But the rain is always gonna come
If youre standing with me

But Im a fire and Ill keep your brittle heart warm
If your cascade ocean wave blues come
All these people think loves for show
But I would die for you in secret
The devils in the details
But you got a friend in me
Would it be enough
If I could never give you peace?
Would it be enough
If I could never give you peace?
Would it be enough
If I could never give you peace?






Top?  
hoax

My only one
My smoking gun
My eclipsed sun
This has broken me down
My twisted knife
My sleepless night
My winless fight

This has frozen my ground
Stood on the cliffside
Screaming Give me a reason
Your faithless loves the only hoax
I believe in
Dont want no other shade of blue
But you
No other sadness in the world would do

My best laid plan
Your sleight of hand
My barren land
I am ash from your fire

Stood on the cliffside
Screaming Give me a reason
Your faithless loves the only hoax
I believe in
Dont want no other shade of blue
But you
No other sadness in the world would do

You know I left a part of me back in New York
You knew the hero died so whats the movie for
You knew it still hurts underneath my scars
From when they pulled me apart
You knew the password so I let you in the door
You knew you won so whats the point of keeping score?
You knew it still hurts underneath my scars
From when they pulled me apart
But what you did was just as dark
Darling this was just as hard
As when they pulled me apart

My only one
My kingdom come undone
My broken drum
You have beaten my heart

Dont want no other shade of blue
But you
No other sadness in the world would do

Top?